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Atelophobia [...] is the fear of not being good enough or imperfection. [...] Atelophobia is classified as an anxiety disorder that can affect relationships and makes the person afflicted by atelophobia feel like everything they do is wrong.

Like many other anxiety disorders, Atelophobia can develop in people based on a dramatic event that took place in their life. Often this event could cause the person to feel unsure of their actions and cause them to blame themselves for being imperfect. This disorder can be traced back to the beginning of school for most affected individuals. Other cases could involve an outside source convincing the person that they are imperfect and flawed. As a result any stressful situation triggers fear in the brain of an atelophbic and the brain immediately triggers the ‘fight or flight’ mode in the person.
[...]

Following is a list of various symptoms

• Feelings of unreality or of being detached from yourself
• Pessimistic view on the outcome of situations before it happens
• Low self-esteem
• Extreme disappointment if he or she fails at something
• Constant worrying about upcoming activities
• Nausea
• Panic attacks
• Accelerated heart rate
• Numbness or tingling feelings
• Insomnia
• Increased muscle tension
• Constant restlessness
  [...]

Like any other phobia, atelophobia is an obstacle in the path of normal life. [...] When a normal person loses [in a competition etc.], he might get a little disappointed but later gets over it and controls his feelings. On the other hand, when a person living with atelophobia faces a failure, he is unable to bear it. He becomes extremely disappointed and starts doubting his abilities. He starts to think that he can never do that thing properly. He considers himself a stupid person who does not have the capability to do anything properly. This doubt further masks his abilities. Although an atelophobic might have talents and intelligence, this lack of self confidence snatches it all from him. [...]

Wikipedia

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Diese Tage,
an denen man Liebe atmet.

Wie die Dämme brechen.

Wie die Dämme brechen.
Ich bin gut in Panikmache. In mir. Mein inneres Kind kennt das schon, das auf der Hut sein. Es kennt den Blick über den Rücken, das Kleinmachen vor der erhobenen Hand. Es kennt das Zusammenkrümmen vor den Chorstimmen.
Wie ich mich gehäutet habe, nur um zu regridieren. Wie Dinge wieder kommen. Die Angst.

Wie sinnlos es ist.

“Hast du es wirklich geglaubt?” Auftritt Horrorkabinett. Manchmal habe ich euch vermisst, die letzten Jahre. Wenn es sehr einsam war. Doch die meiste Zeit hat es mir Angst gemacht, dass es euch je gab.

Wie sie nichts sagen müssen. Wie sie in mir böse lächeln und ich sie verstehe. Immer.

Wie es wieder gehen wird. Morgen. Weil es muss.
Wie es immer gehen wird.